There are a lot of colourful people at football viewing centres in Nigeria.
The viewing centre is where football lovers go to watch their favourite clubs battle for the precious three points every weekend during the football season.
Football is back again and that means the viewing centres are going to be filled to the maximum for the next few months. Expect to see so many crazy characters at viewing centres nationwide.
If you have never been to a viewing centre, these are the ten people you will likely meet there.
1) The Fan
He is the guy who shows in his team's jersey, tracks and muffler. He is blind faith in his club and brandishes his loyalty at every given minute. He would scream that he has been supporting his club from the 90s, unlike today's fair weather fans.
2) The Analyst
From the moment they see the lineups they start talking. No lineup or formation is ever perfect for them. They are quick to give you their own sure fire formation and which player should be starting and who is on the bench. Essentially they believe they know more than the coaches who are paid millions to do their jobs.
3) The Gambler
All this guy brings out are his Bet9ja tickets and starts doing permutations. He is usually sweating because he has staked a lot in this weekend's games. He is happy when his bets start clicking and a sad man when there is a huge upset in one of the games.
4) The Historian
This guy knows the result of matches played in 1980. He prides himself as being a fountain of knowledge and unbiased supporter of football. Unfortunately what they say as the fact most times are alternative facts.
5) The Tout
This person is always in viewing centres to argue and fight. He is usually shirtless. If an argument starts when a game is on, he quickly gets up and starts shouting like a lunatic. Always the first to push or throw the first punch.
6) The Silent One
This guy is a mystery. He comes to the viewing centre week in, week out and doesn't say a word. No matter how tense the match is, he doesn't move or talk. After the match, he gets up and leaves quietly.
7) The Entertainer
He is the joker in the viewing centre. Every time a player humiliates an opponent with a good move he screams and laughs. He mocks the fans of the losing team with his bants. He doesn't take football seriously. He is only watching it for bants.
8) The Bored Girlfriend
She is at the viewing centre because her boyfriend dragged her to it. She doesn't like football and doesn't get what the hype is. She looks miserable throughout the game.
9) The Over-Excited Girlfriend
She is always the hyped up girlfriend supporting her boyfriend's team. She has taken her loyalty to her boyfriend to another level. She supports his team, knows the club players and coach and also understands the offside rule.
10) The Broke Guy
He never has any money to watch any of the matches in the viewing centre. He begs and begs to watch the game but keeps getting bounced. Usually, when it's a few minutes to the end of the game he is allowed to enter.
(c) Christian voice newspaper